The Adventures of Miss Seductive Venus

I am a study of contradictions: worse than an angel, better than the devil.

This is not a story for delicate stomachs. This is not a fairy tale, a cute story with a moral or even a palatable plot for polite society. 

I will tell everything without holding back,without flinching.There are times in our lives that require courage and ruthlessness when faced with adversity. I’m here to tell my story with frank honesty and a determination to set things right.

I have to take off our mask and walk into the world in a naked, vulnerable state. I shall be free because my story is out there. I expect judgment and misinterpretation. I could only hope to high heavens that it would shed some light on the past and how it’s shaped me as a person. 

This is my unusual story of how I got out of the dark pit and into the blessed light of redemption. 

I shouldn’t live my life according to other people’s standards. I reveled in the idea that I could make choices- difficult, irreverent choices- and I don’t have to expect other people to approve of it. 

This is it for me. After this, nothing would ever be the same.

I also want to apologize to my friends and family who stumbled into my blog. Sorry, guys, but this is the real story. 

How hard is it to say two words with three syllables? I always struggled with admitting my faults. Anyone who knew me also knew that I hated to lose. Eating my slice of humble pie would send me vomiting on the nearest lavatory. Admitting my mistakes would also elicit the same violent reaction. But I could grit my teeth and do it if I knew that I messed things up big time. 

I would apologize because I know when I’m wrong. I know that these are paltry words but they’re the only ones I have.This would be a very, very long apology indeed to the people I care about and the people who care about me.

Nobody would ever know the things that I’ve done or the lengths that I’ve gone. I’m a liar, a cheat and a terrible, terrible person. I’m a person who has pushed her boundaries to be a slut. I’ve pushed the limits of human relationships. I’ve done so many horrible things that I cringe just to see them on paper.

This isn’t easy for me. I know it’s not easy to listen but it’s harder for me to talk. As much as I love to talk, I find it hard to reveal my innermost feelings. I gloss over the non-glamorous details. I rarely speak about my real past. 

Of course, I’m a normal girl but I’ve been never been a girl who earned second glances or inspired instant desire. 

On the outside, I looked like a good girl who worked hard and took her responsibilities very seriously. I dress stylishly and talk nice. I am so normal that you wonder what it is that seems off. 

Nobody was aware of the secret slut in their midst. My image held up. My reputation remained intact. It’s a wonder that I never heard a whisper against my precious reputation. I was a con artist in the making and I was a fake. 

All you get from me are half-truths and half-lies. No white lies for me. All of them are ebony black and bitter to taste. 

I don’t expect to be vindicated. Even I, stupid little fool that I am, do not believe that everything can be fixed. This is my one true thing.

We all make mistakes. I have to admit that I’ve made LOTS of them both consciously and unconsciously over the years. I’m not a perfect person. I don’t even know if I’m a good person. What is a good person anyway? As far as I know, I haven’t killed, stolen or slandered anyone. All I know is that I’m not an angel but a human being who is capable of making colossal mistakes. At least I could. 

I believe that this is the reason why humans are different from animals. Animals follow their instincts and move on like nothing’s happened. They don’t need to ask for forgiveness. But humans aren’t capable of such ruthless coldbloodedness. 

We are capable of feeling guilt and regret. We are capable of correcting our wrongs. I’ve never had the desire to apologize to anyone for my actions before. But I guess it’s my time to start eating some humble pie. 

I don’t know if this counts as an apology but I’ll do my damn best to tell you my story. That’s what I’m good at, yes? I am very good at telling stories because I’m a liar, a cheat and a terrible, terrible person. 

I’m a person who has no boundaries. I’ve never admitted it to anyone but I’ve pushed the limits of human relationships. Yes, I’ve had many lovers. We’ll both run out of fingers if I counted. I’ve been around the block at least twice. If someone asked, I say “a good girl doesn’t count”. If you hit the double digits, you don’t want to keep tabs. 

It’s not such a bad thing. I got to know myself and accepted my sexuality. I used to do it because I was curious. I did it because it gave me pleasure. Then I saw it as a way to power, as a way to be noticed. Boys weren’t hard to attract or lure into bed. 

It’s easy to see that I’ve got a psychological problem or some very deep-seated issues that years in therapy won’t be able to cure. I guess I need to start ‘fessing up if I want you to understand where I’m coming from. 

In my desire to break away from the destructive patterns of my past, I’ve decided to accept what I’ve done and take responsibility for my actions. 

The past is the past. I can’t change it. But I still have the opportunity to change the course of my future, right?

Anyway, it was many years ago when I decided on my pen name, Miss Seductive Venus. It sounded really smart, sexy and divine all at the same time. 

I was planning on setting up a blog so my social media had to be in sync so I needed something really striking. I found this name fits my personality in a lot of ways so I went on to set up my Instagram, Twitter, Google, Fanfiction.net, Livejournal and Facebook handles under it.

Why Miss Seductive Venus? It’s because I like the sound of the word Think of it as a goal and as a personal mission. Venus was my favorite planet because it can be the evening and morning star. The duality of it attracted me. 

I was also planning to write these stories that I stored up under my pseudonym so my bad girl antics won’t affect my family. Then again, the time of the sex bloggers came and went. 

Everyone’s sleazy sex stories were interesting. They were selling. I thought maybe I could cash in on the phenomena. So I have all of these stories and no motivation to write them up to make money. 

“What kind of stories?” you might ask. 

Oh, don’t even get me started, honey. It will be sordid, dirty and full of darkness but it will be told in a light, personable manner. 

Miss Seductive Venus is rising, my friends, and she cannot be stopped.