Hi! We can probably say that this is my real introduction.
Just to be clear, I'm really bad at introducing myself because I don't know who I am yet. Yes, that's right. I don't really know what kind of person I am and what's my motivation. It's like I'm a character in a story who's not fully fleshed out yet.
At the time of this writing, I am a female, 30-years-old and still single. I want to be a lifestyle blogger with a mental health advocacy, erotica writer or a romance novelist because that sounds like someone who's interesting, fun and driven.
As it turns out, I'm just a broke lady living in a third world country with a camera phobia, no social media following and no success story. It sounds bleak and desperate because that's exactly what it is. I'd rather be honest than paint a pretty picture of myself to lie so I can be liked. If there's anything real about me, I value authenticity and honesty.
In any case, I'm a big fan of astrology because I'm a Gemini and an Earth Snake in Chinese astrology. Yes, I'm also desperate to find out who I am and what I am doing in this universe.
I can agree that I'm just as moody, communicative and indecisive like a true Gemini. I am always swinging in between extremes so that's the Snake and the Twins (and bipolar disorder) for you. Aside from astrology, my hobbies include reading, cooking, traveling and writing.
My favorite authors include Neil Gaiman, J.K Rowling and Philippa Gregory. I've got an eclectic collection of books at home thanks to them. I'm also a big believer than knowledge should be shared so I lend books without expecting them back. I tried to get them back to no avail so I hope they're happy with their new owners.
I've been working in the call center/BPO industry for close to 10 years. Thanks to these jobs, I've managed to help myself, my brother and sister complete our college education. Thanks to that career track, I enjoyed a lifestyle that allowed me to eat whatever I wanted, travel to new places and to live in relative comfort.
Thanks to recent events, I've been ejected out of the industry against my will. So I will try my best to work in a regular office and to write on my spare time. I've taken a really huge pay cut too but that's okay. I've been waiting for the right time to leave the BPO industry and the door was opened for me unexpectedly.
In a way, I'm living by my definition of success. Let me give you a quick background story: I was 19-years-old when I declared my intentions to the universe at large through a contribution to The Philippine Daily Inquirer.
I've asked for success, for courage to be true to myself and to experience life as much as possible. In a way, I am successful because I'm being true to who I am everyday and in doing so, I'm getting the most out of my life.
I'm not an average girl. I've seen and done things that shouldn't be done by ordinary mortals. I've glimpsed the divine and the profane. I'm strong, courageous and compassionate. I've hungered for love from others but my soul is satiated only by the love and kindness I can give myself. I'm an unusual girl and I've accepted it.
Right now, I'm walking towards the mountain that Neil Gaiman has talked about.
I'm taking the steps to gain what I want: a career in writing, functional and healthy relationships, and contentment. I'm too broken to experience daily happiness and too damaged to regain my naive and optimistic heart so I'm taking what I can get.
I'm open to experience the fleeting moments of joy and lasting contentment. I'm comfortable enough in myself to say that I'm happy with where I'm going, what I'm doing and who I am. I do believe that "everything will be okay". I always do what is right but not necessarily good. I live by the motto: family, duty and honor.
I am not completely happy yet but I am content. It's true that I am now living up to my definition as a woman: strong, focused and kind. I've grown up a lot in the past 10 years and it's enlightening to see how much I've matured. I still don't know much about myself but it's part of the journey.
Ten years ago, I wished for my independence, steady work, healthy relationships and success. I am grateful to have them now in different aspects of my life.
In the past, I wanted to live in a beautiful condo with my future husband so I received that blessing. I wanted to work in a challenging, fast-paced startup company and I got that. I wanted to have a healthy relationship with my family and friends so I worked on that. I truly wanted to be stable enough to be a high-functioning mentally ill person and I'm getting there.
When I look forward to the future, I am excited and terrified. In the next 10 years, I'm expecting major life changes like marriage, children and writing books. I've already chosen a man to be my future husband, embarked on a career track and started this blog. I'm thrilled to write down everything in this decade just to track down the changes and improvements to that person.
Maybe 10 years from now, she'll write a new entry for the 30 days theme with a stronger and more confident tone to share the stories of family life, career, travel and maybe even some risque stories. It's all part of God's plan.
See you around.
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